She's whiskey in a teacup

As it turns out, I do appreciate good whiskey. I have notes on that for later.

This phrase describes a woman who has a fiery spirit but outwardly appears to be proper and poised. Never have I ever found a phrase that captured my aspirational essence.

One topic I return to often with my daughters is the idea of how we show up in the world. Personal branding is everything. A good friend of mine likes to say "Be kind to your future self." As my girls move through the early stages of adolescence and begin understanding and shaping their sense of self, I want to offer them pieces of my own perspective and the lessons I’ve gathered over time.

Over the past few years, I’ve started collecting quotes that resonate deeply with me. I usually save them to a Pinterest board, but I’ve discovered that I remember and connect with them more fully when I write them out by hand. What began as a habit has become a ritual, now housed in a leather-bound journal where I keep them all.

Here are a few from my collection:

1. Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder. — Rumi

2. Take care of your thoughts when you are alone. Take care of your words when you’re with people.

3. If you’re wrong, own up to what you didn’t do right. That’s how you learn and earn respect.

4. Self-control is strength. Calmness is mastery. You have to get to the point where your mood doesn’t shift based on insignificant actions of someone else. Don’t allow others to control the direction of your life. Don’t allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence.

5. Be the reason someone feels welcomed, seen, heard, valued, loved, and supported.

6. Every time you judge someone, you reveal a part of yourself that needs healing.

7. Learning to be calm when you’re disrespected is a superpower.

8. When someone is nasty or treats you poorly, don’t take it personally. It says nothing about you, but a lot about them.

9. At your absolute best, you still won’t be good enough for the wrong person. At your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right person.

10. The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet. — Mohadesa Najumi

11. Train your mind to see the good in everything. Positivity is a choice. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

12. Three things you cannot recover in life: the word after it’s said, the moment after it’s missed, and the time after it’s gone.

13. Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud.

14. Being both soft and strong is a combination very few have mastered.

15. Do not get upset with people or situations. Both are powerless without your reaction.

16. Live without pretending. Love without depending. Listen without defending. Speak without offending.

17. Don’t ever mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance, and my kindness for weakness.

18. You are always responsible for how you act, no matter how you feel. Remember that.

19. Ask yourself often: Am I observing the situation accurately, or am I projecting how I feel onto what is happening?

20. Whatever triggers you also reveals what you need to heal.

Looking back, hindsight is easily 20/20. In my own path that I’ve walked, I’ve certainly made mistakes and had countless moments that could have embodied the principles of these quotes a lot better. What I want to share is that even if this happens to you, it’s ok because it happens to everybody. Maya Angelou has always inspired me. She famously said “Do your best until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

I’ve had moments in life where I wish I did better because at that time- I definitely knew better. We can’t go back and change anything, but we can always strive to be a better version of who we were yesterday. We are all work in progress and it’s never too late to make today better, but not every step has to be a giant leap. Reset, readjust, restart, refocus….as many times as you need to. If it’s important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse. Be honest with yourself in understanding what is important enough.